I may have mentioned I recently moved across the country so I have had a lot of time to think about being homesick and such
Its interesting because I just keep finding I am homesick about a feeling. It’s not just the familiar faces and familiar places(I think thats a line from a song oh well)
It’s a feeling in your gut. So strong it could almost be a smell.
That feeling when you sat in the backyard with your mom and just listened to the air.
Or that feeling when you ended up shouting to the sky with your friends and laughing so hard you cry.
Maybe its the way you could wake up in your room and just know you were home.
I miss the people and the places but most of all I miss the feeling of home. And I have made many homes over the years. I have actually gotten quite good at it.
But I moved into an apartment while we waited to move into a house
living out of a suitcase for three months doesn’t feel like home.
I want to lay claim to a space and make it mine. Put everything where I want it and the way I want it.
I want to wake up to the sun shining on the bed that is now mine and then I can look up at the room and see things that remind me its mine. A poster on the door or a picture frame by the bed. The furniture I chose and the piles of books and DVDs organized just so.
This restless lifestyle of mine has shown me how anal I might be. How spoiled. Maybe even a little OCD? Not really but I definitly need my routines and such.
Tomorrow we finally start to move in to the house and that will be great. But right now I have a headache and I just feel a little lost and a lot homesick.